Lights, Candace, Action!/Transcript
Candace: "To think... To dream... Whether 'tis nobler to love, I know not." Ah, The Princess Sensibilities. My favorite play. What is going on out there?! [Monster noises, Candace crushes monster set] Would you keep it down out here?! You guys ruin everything! I am trying to practice the art of acting. And I will not be disturbed by your little movies! Phineas: 'Not so little anymore. Last week our website got 176,000,000 hits. 'Mom: Oh, sorry I'm late. They're filming down the street. Candace: '''Filming? What What are they filming? '''Mom: A movie version of the play The Princess Sensibilities. Candace: ''Gasps'' I would be perfect for that part! I've been practicing it for my drama club all summer! I'm gonna get discovered! Phineas: 'That's serendipitous. Hey, where's Perry? 'Major Monogram: '''There you are, Agent P. There's something strange going on with Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He's been very quiet. A little too quiet. I want you to find out what's not going on, and... uh.. put a.. stop.. to it. I suppose. Good luck, Agent P. ♪ Doo be doo be doo ba, Doo be doo be doo ba, Doo be doo be doo ba, Doo be doo be doo ba, Doo be doo be doo ba ♪ ♪ Agent P! ♪ '''Candace: There it is! Excuse me, Uh, Mr. Producer, Sir? Producer: I can't talk to you right now. My lead actress just quit! Candace: Well sir, this is your lucky day! throat ''"To think, to dream, whether 'tis nobler to love, I know not." '''Producer:' Heh. That's not bad. And you know your lines. Mmm, I don't know. Candace: I'll do it for free. Producer: You're hired. Candace: Really? Producer: '''You bet! With the money I save, I'll be able to hire the hottest new directors in town. Hello? '''Candace: Wow! I can get used to this! Man: Miss Candace, here's your contract and your bagel. This is Antoine, your dialog coach, Nikki, your swimming stand-in, and your personal trainers Olga and Chicago Joe. Olga: '''Charmed, I'm sure. '''Chicago Joe: Drop and give me 20! Producer: Candace, Baby! Let me introduce you to the directors of this film. goes down Phineas: Hi, Candace. Candace: Phineas and Ferb? What are you doing here? Phineas: 'We're directing the movie. Our new agent arranged the whole thing. 'Isabella: '''Look. My client gets 3% of the gross and a piece of the back end, or he walks. Yeah, that's right. You mess with the bull, you get the horns, buddy. ''rings ''Hello? Sid, baby, you got that 3rd act in line yet? '''Candace: Wait, wait! Don't you think they're a little young to be big-budget movie directors? Producer: With 176,000,000 hits, they'd be in diapers for all I care. Music needle scratches Candace: 'Phineas, I don't remember any monsters in ''The Princess Sensibilities. '''Phineas: We just finished the rewrites this morning. Candace: '"''The Curse of the Princess Monster"? That is not what I signed up for! Besides, I can't wear this! No one will see my face! '''Producer: '''Yes, but in the end, the curse is lifted! And then your big dramatic scene, you will look stunning! This film could make you a star. '''Candace: Really? A... a... star? cheering Man: Hey! Ugly monster! You're needed on the set! Candace: I'm coming! playing ''Oof! Oof! Oof! ''music ♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.! ♪ breaks door Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus? Why do you keep breaking down my doors? Why don't you knock first? It's not even locked! This time, you'll pay. That's right, fork it over. What? Are you kidding me? This is not just drywall, you know! It's solid oak! That's more like it. You can't just go busting into people's houses for no reason, you know. Besides, I've given up evil to pursue the art of cheese making. Do you like stinky limburger? It's a Doofenshmirtz family recipe. maniacally, Cow mooing It's not ready, yet. It still has to age for 58 and 1/2 years. ticking ''But who's got that kind of time, anyway? Which is why I created: The Age Accelerator... Inator. '''Phineas:' Okay, Candace. This is a very important scene. It is nothing less than the emotional backbone of the whole film. Oh, and the villagers are coming at you with everything they've got. slate slams Candace: Uh, what do mean the villa- Phineas: Action! The air force! Candace: Grunting Hey! Phineas: The space armada from the planet plumbing supplies! Clattering Candace: Groans Phineas: Beautiful! That's a print! Ginger:' Whispering Phineas: Oh. That's a little embarrassing. megaphone Okay, people, nice rehearsal! Let's take it from the top! slate slams, Tropical music playing Candace: Wow! Is this banana hat for some cool tropical dance number? Phineas: We're trying to com eup with some exciting camera angles for the big chase scene. So we strapped a camera on to this starving monkey. screeching Candace: AAH! Static Phineas: Laughing Sorry that monkey cam didn't work out. We're gonna try it with Ferb this time. Now take this sandwich and remember, Ferb hasn't eaten lunch yet. screeching Hold on tight. Candace: Aah! Static Phineas: Okay. In this scene, The monster; That's you, gets attacked by 800 cubic feet of rats, spiders, and snakes. Candace: There is no way I am doing that! Phineas: Relax. They're made out of rubber. Candace: Sighs Phineas: Well the snakes are, anyway. Candace: AAH! Get em' off me! Get em' off me! Get em' off me! Get em' off me! Get em' off me! Get em' off me! Get em' off me! Phineas: Okay. Candace, This is your beauty shot. The curse has been lifted, and you are no longer a monster. Now this scene, is what the heart wants, but the mind can't have. Take one. Candace: To dream... To be free of the curse. Phineas: Beautiful. Keep going, megaphone Cue the magical girly dust! Candace: Whether 'tis nobler to be loved... Achoo! Thud Phineas: megaphone Cue wind machine! Ferb: on wind machine Candace: TO BE CURSED... BY LOVE... PHINEAS, MAKE IT STOP! Phineas: CUT THE WIND MACHINE! Ferb: off wind machine Candace: Oof! Phineas: Okay. Drop the flower petals! Candace: Weakly Whether 'tis no- Toilets and pipes fall Phineas: Wrong prop. What the heck. Let's keep it! falls Candace: Oof! Phineas: Okay people, that's a wrap! Here's your big dramatic scene, Candace. Candace: Panting To think... To dream- Phineas: Cut! Candace: Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. Phineas: Do it again! Candace: To think, To-to stink, to-to- Phineas: Cut! Candace: This is horrible! I can't let anybody see this! Phineas: That's what's called a rough cut. Ferb's gonna fix it in editing. Tighten up the dialog, do a little voice modulation, play with the filters, and now take a look! music Ashley Tisdale: To think, to dream, to be free of the curse. Candace: I... I... I look beautiful! Phineas: That's what they call "Movie Magic". Candace: You two are the best brothers a great actress could ever have! Producer: '''We've packed the theater with teenagers. They're our target audience. If they like it, we're in business. If they don't, Hisses music, then dramatic music '''Narrator: The Curse Of the Princess Monster. cheering Producer: Looks like we got a hit movie! Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Category:Transcripts